Month: March 2019

How Physical Environment Impacts Our Mental Health

~ vibhadassingh ~ 4 Comments
brown and white wooden house on green forest
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Entrance into any space is often an anticipation of things to come, whenever you go anywhere for the first time, the first thing that leaves a lasting impression on you is the environment and the atmosphere of that particular place. The vibe, the energy and the general feeling of the place can impact your mood straight away. Your physical environment can have a direct impact on your psychological well-being and mental health. Your environment plays a vital role in your overall health.

Physical environment and mental health:
According to the research, the built environment has direct and indirect effects on mental health. People who live in crowded areas and sub-standard quality accommodation and with minimum or no contact with nature are known to suffer from psychological distress more often than people who live in natural and open areas. Various studies also show that Alzheimer’s patients have lower levels of stimulation when they live in open, green and homelier spaces. Other environmental factors such as various air pollutants, toxins, bad/insufficient lighting, loud noises, harmful chemical, radiation, infectious agents, all could elevate our psychological distress leading to mental health problems. Psychosocial factors of the built environment such as having no control over your immediate environment (slum dwellers), lack of socially supportive relationships or lack of proper space to recover from stress and fatigue, could all lead to anxiety, depression and many such other mental health issues.

A modern day scenario of our physical environment:
In today’s world we usually do not have much control over our physical environment. We are a moving population, always on the go. We are crossing continents in search of better life and future, always on the lookout for better opportunities. We are constantly staring into our screens of various shapes and sizes, we eat fast food and gobble down food of no nutritious value and we are struggling with lack of restorative sleep and relaxation time. Our eyes are strained with bright lights and hyper-stimulation. Amongst all this fast paced movement, we hardly notice our physical environment. Who is sitting beside us on the plane, train or bus; in a fast food joint, on even on that park bench whilst we are busy always ‘doing’ something on our electronic devices. We totally disregard our immediate physical environment and live in this virtual world. Gone are those days when we used to know the entire street or the village. We used to have that sense of belonging, when we knew every single tree and nook and corner of our little village. When you knew there would always be a group of wise old gentlemen sitting at the roundabout, under the big shady tree in your village, looking at the world go by, reminiscing and just living in the moment being mindful, cherishing each other’s company, enjoying their surroundings, and taking pride in their village.

In today’s world of humongous teeming metropolises, we don’t even know who our neighbour is, or what the demographics of our street is. We go to work early in the morning, come back home in the dark, just to eat and sleep and then go again into the rat race. No wonder, there is such a spike in people looking for some meaning in their meaningless lives and Marie Kondo, The Minimalists, Hygge etc are gaining popularity, giving tips to people on how to take a break from it all and create a little bit of paradise for themselves to keep sane and to feel happy.

Happiness is such a broad term which is also related to our physical built in environment directly or indirectly. It lifts your mood, impacts your behaviour and motivation positively, reduces anxiety and stress, and increases your sense of general well-being. Big companies are also trying to work on their physical environment so that the productivity of their employees increase manifolds and the creativity factor is positively influenced and the majority of their employees can tick that ‘Happiness’ box.

How to create a happy, positive environment:
We all must have experienced that feeling “I am home” and what it feels like to come home to a clean, welcoming, cozy, warm home at the end of a busy day. You look forward to reaching home, to your familiar space and to your familiar surroundings. No one to bother you, no deadlines, no harsh glare of the screens, no noises.

The Danes are known to be one of the happiest people in the world and the secret to their happiness is embracing ‘Hygge’. It is the Danish way of living life – meaningfully, mindfully, cosily, warmly and happily. Hygge is an oasis, a refuge from our daily struggles of fatigue, disconnection from real world and real people, mental and physical connection exhaustion, and this ever present sense of being totally lost in this modern wilderness. Hygge is all about peace, simplicity and comfort. It is about being authentic, it is about being real and it is about being at peace with everything around you, your surroundings and your atmosphere.

How would you define Hygge?                          It is a philosophy which encapsulates simplicity, togetherness, familiarity, safety, peacefulness, contentment and warmth. How could we practice Hygge in our daily lives? The first and foremost is about establishing meaning connections with everything and everyone around us, with loving kindness. We need to be mindful of our immediate environment and try to live and enjoy each moment to its full potential. We need to realise that we all are vulnerable and are connected to each other in some way or the other. We all are a part of this universe.

We can do small things to start practicing hygge in our daily lives, such as having a family meal together, when everyone is actually present and enjoying each other’s company, sharing stories and actively turning off all electronic intrusions. Hygge is about creating an atmosphere and a feeling of warmth, safety, comfort and coziness, where no one is competing against each other. Creating an atmosphere with soft lighting, blocking out all the harshness and loudness from your home, lighting up candles. They will create little sanctuaries around your home of softness and warmth to comfort your tired souls and eyes. You can apply Hygge in all spheres of your life – it feeds your soul and warns the innermost corners of your heart.
Try this at home:
• at the entrance of your castle, place a little pot with some aromatic flowers
• declutter as much as possible, only keep those things that spark joy (as Ms Kondo would say)
• introduce some greenery around
• add more flowers, even a single flower could change the whole atmosphere
• light up more candles
• become a pet owner
• put some old favourite family photographs around
• have plenty of cozy blankets, rugs, throws and cushions
• create a cozy nook called ‘Hyggekrog’
• paint your home with soothing colours
The list is long and it depends on everyone’s personal preference, you can apply the same principles to your work environment too, making it less formal and more authentic and comfortable rather than stark and too formal. These days, even hospitals are trying to incorporate these principles into their physical environments. Happy and cheerful colours in the hospitals and wellness centres can contribute towards patients’ quick recovery rather than the stark, clinical and more structured, formal décor/atmosphere. So, create an environment physically which will enrich you spiritually, emotionally and mentally. Listen to you heart, surround yourself with all things nice and soul satisfying. Go deeper, be authentic and be yourself and above all be mindful of your surroundings. Enjoy the moment, soak it all in and listen to the song that your heart is singing….it is happy, content and at peace!

Be nice to yourself, slow down and always, always, always listen to your heart…..home is where the heart is!

Men, Women, Love, Friendship & Laughter

~ vibhadassingh ~ 5 Comments

Men, Women, Love, Friendship & Laughter

affection afterglow backlit blur
Photo by luizclas on Pexels.com

“Love, friendship, laughter…some of the best things in life really are free” – Bob Marley

“What do you think of men?”, if you ask this question to any woman you know, they will smile and roll their eyes around, some will giggle and some will get all serious and get into deep thinking processes. And some will squint their eyes real hard and say, “What do you mean by that?” In today’s world of political correctness and gender equality and all, everyone seems to be a little guarded against their opinion on the opposite sex. You always first scrutinise your audience and measure up your words zealously before expressing them. You might start a full blown war of words, ruffle many feathers and even ruin some of your long held friendships/relationships. So, people keep things close to their hearts, not uttering much or just following the majority. If you hold an opinion which might be slightly different than the majority, then only God can save you – now that’s another controversial topic – religion! Even God’s gender is questioned. You wonder how to refer to God these days in your prayers? – He/She has to be gender neutral. It’s confusing. Your prayer time can get highly stressful – you hope you are not offending God. These days getting offended is trending, in fact it is trending big time. Everyone is offended about something or the other. Gone are those days when you could express your views and opinions without getting trolled virtually, emotionally and mentally.

I asked the above question to my female acquaintances, friends, cousins, relatives too. Most went quiet, some came up with witty one-liners and comments comprising of one word only, some were overtly careful with their comments. There were few who were very open and talked their hearts out, I guess it was a subject very close to their hearts. The responses mirrored their age groups, life experiences, cultural, historical and religious contexts and their educational backgrounds. Language played an important role too, for example, in Khmer, the word for ‘yes’ is different for men and women. Some of them repeated the well-known stereotypes such as men are childlike, they are always confused, they are like pre-programmed machines, and Men Are From Mars after all. Some who have studied the subject a bit more closely out of sheer curiosity, they held biology as the prime factor in determining our feelings about men. Depending on our monthly cycle, we are attracted towards different kind of men – sexy, tall, compassionate, athletic, physically attractive, caring, older, intelligent, rich, wealthy etc. How we feel about men depends greatly on our biological make up and our age. I wonder if it is the same for men.
There has been many researches and studies conducted on men and women’s brains – similarities and differences. As a species we are always wondering if we are just the same, irrespective of our gender and our obvious biological differences. Is ‘gender’ a man-made concept? Is it because of our social conditioning we behave how we behave, is it because of our culture, we put on girly clothes, love pink or blue, play with dolls or trucks and put make up on ourselves? Is gender influenced by outside elements? What if all the toilets are unisex like unisex perfumes? What if all the clothes are gender neutral and you can’t really tell the difference between a boy and a girl? Is a clear distinction between different genders and gender roles serving our society anymore? Do we need a foundation/corner stone called a basic ‘nuclear family’ comprising of a mother and a father anymore for our ever evolving and ever changing society? Do mothers always need to be the ones staying at home being the primary carers and nurturers? Do fathers always need to be the breadwinners of the family? Do we need to revisit the traditional family structure of joint families, where every family member had a designated role and the family unit worked smoothly without childcare centres and aged care facilities? Do we need to have state/politics meddling into our private affairs such as – childcare, aged care, counselling services? Do we need to worry about our kids becoming totally socially inept and awkward spending most of their spare time talking to ‘Siri’ and playing games on their electronic devices all day long? The divorce rate is reaching record high worldwide. Over worked and over-burdened single mothers and single parents are regretting their decision to procreate.
Well-meaning popular movements such as ‘toxic masculinity’ and #metoo movement have a disturbing side to it too. There is a growing divide between men and women. You come across these young people who are dead scared to approach the opposite sex because they are worried they might offend them and it might be seen as sexual harassment. Young men are not sure about their masculinity, they are highly confused and are searching for answers. Is the whole concept of masculinity ‘toxic’? They lack confidence and assurance. They are lacking exemplary male role models in their lives. So what has gone so wrong? Why there is such an imbalance? Is there a gender war on at the moment? Do we need to intellectualise all aspects of our lives? Do we need to challenge everything that we have known all this time as human beings?
I grew up in a world when there was a certain mystery, certain charm shrouding the male-female relationship/friendship. My mother and other older women were full of interesting stories and always gave a vague account of boys and men in general. Our school text books were too biological and too scientific to make any logical sense out of it. We were given instructions to maintain a safe distance from men – please practice all interactions with the opposite gender in moderation, don’t spend too much time with them, don’t go alone with them. Despite all these strict guidelines, as a girl I have always found that there was an undeniable attraction, there was this enchanting mystery, and there was this lure of the unknown. I have always found the boys simpler to navigate, down to earth, and easy to communicate with. The plus point was they were always more fun to be around with.
Now when you find yourself embroiled in this ever present gender war, how do you strike that elusive balance again when love used to blossom between a man and a woman naturally and organically as a natural extension of a good solid friendship; when you knew you have found your soulmate; when the feeling of love permeated all the nooks and crannies of your being?
As it happened one fine day, when two of us were busy talking and sharing a joke and laughed so much that our sides almost split open, and we looked deep into each other’s eyes and we knew life would be too dull and boring without each other. It was a time, when sense of humour wasn’t a political act and there was laughter all around; we didn’t have to worry about offending anyone; we two became best of mates; and we decided to spend the rest of our lives together. There was banter, there were smiles galore and hearty laughs, and innocent statements about gender differences. In a nutshell, we all were simpler beings and life was simpler and love was simpler………..Are we lacking something inside us these days? Are we responsible for all these unnecessary complications? Can we laugh again – together, irrespective of our gender and grow in each other’s love? Can we love and respect each other’s differences? Can we just be good friends….again?
“The enemy of a love is never outside, it’s not a man or a woman, it’s what we lack in ourselves.” – Anais Nin